Intro: E  E5  A5  E5  A5  E5 

Verso:
 
E                        A 
Floating in space at the edge of time 
    E                 A 
In a universe that we can’t define 
E                        A 
Billions of stars in the endless night 
E                     A 
Tryin to find purpose for our lives 
        E                   A 
Yet we still take the time (still take the time) 
        E                A  A5 
Yes, we always take the time… 

 

[Refrão]
          E5   A5   E5   A5 
To masturbate… ah-ooh-ohh… 
             E5    A5 
To milk the snake 
                       E5     A5 
Girls do the taco handshake 
          E5               A5         E5    A5  E5 A5  E5 
I’m gonna hold my sausage hostage… tonight. 

Verso 2:
 
        E                            A 
Whether you’re English, French, Japanese, or German 
        E                            A 
Whether you’re at home or at a movie with Pee Wee Herman 
   E                     A 
We all take matters into our own hands 
         E                     A 
With the five finger army we invade our pants 
     E                           A 
We’d all be doing time (yes we’d all be doing time) 
E            A  A5 
If it was a crime… 

 

[Refrão]
          E5   A5   E5   A5 
To masturbate… ah-ooh-ohh 
                 E5     A5 
To pull the handbrake 
               E5     A5 
To play vagina DJ 
      E5                       A5 
She’s gonna play cuntry on the clitar… tonight 

Ponte: E  A  E  B (2x)

Verso: 

E5            A5  E5                   B5 
 He burps his baby, she’s putting on a puppet show 
E5                 A5    E5              B5 
 Our gentitals are Juliet, our hands are Romeo 
E5             A5     E5                B5 
 He chokes his chicken, she tickles her cameltoe 

E5                A5    E5              B5 
 Our genitals are Juliet, our hands are Romeo 
    A                       B        E 
I’m gonna play ball on team Penis… tonight