From the Broadway musical, "Avenue Q" 
http://www.avenueq.com/ 

Schadenfreude 

D                 A 
Right now you are down and out 
G 
and feeling really crappy 
    D              A 
And when I see how sad you are 
   G                    E 
It sort of makes me...  Happy! 

G             A 
Sorry, Buddy, human nature- 
D             E 
Nothing I can do! 
          G      A 
It's...   Schadenfreude! 
G              A                 D 
Making me feel glad that I'm not you. 


D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls 
and drops a tray of glasses? 
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters 
falling on their asses? 

And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy, 
Watching people out in the rain! 
Schadenfreude! 
People taking pleasure in your pain!  

Watching a vegetarian 
being told she just ate chicken 
Or watching a frat boy realize 
just what he put his dick in! 
Being on the elevator  
when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"  NO!!! 
Schadenfreude! 
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!" 

G 
Straight-A students getting Bs? 
A 
Exes getting STDs! 
D 
Waking doormen from their naps! 
E 
Watching tourists reading maps! 
G 
Football players getting tackled! 
A 
CEOs getting shackled! 
D 
Watching actors never reach 
E 
The ending of their oscar speech! 

G      E 
Schadenfreude! 
G      E 

Schadenfreude! 
D      G 
Schadenfreude! 
D      G 
Schadenfreude! 

S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E! 

--- 

Hope you enjoy this-- it's perhaps the funniest musical EVER.  And a really nice, mean song. 

--M. Miller