Am 
Are you frightened by the weight you possess or 

 C 
Is this life just weightlessness? 
         G 
Smoggy twilight in LA 
 G          D/F# 
I can't think of one real thing to say 
 Am 
And Robbie Williams is walking in the canyons 
 C 
Forgets that we were friends 
           G                      G D/F# 
I guess it all depends on your mood 
                         D/F#  G 
Why can't these meds be any damn good 

And she said 
 Am 
Why can't you be 
 C 
Like my waterpik shower massager 
 G                  D/F# 
A sweet reliable machine 
                      Am 
And to tell the truth I don't feel less alone 
 C                                                    G 
A water massagers is the purest love I've ever known 
 Am              Am C/G Cadd9 
Why can't you be 
 C              G 
Like when I was 13 
 Am              Am 
Why can't you be 
 C 
Like an art house foreign movie 
            G                        D/F# 
Frank and sexy, red balloons and ennui 

And allude to me 
 Am              Am C/G C 
And why can't you be 
 C                          G 
A little more of a mystery 

  G 
Why can't you be 
 Am 
The part of me that's missing 
  C 
Than leaving me for some other 
  G 
Said we're perfect for each other 
   F                            Am            Cadd9 G 
And I know we wont go spend our lives alone. 
 Am 
Why can't you be 
Am C 
Like an outsourced government contract 
     G                              D/F# 
I'm a fat cat gettin' away with anything 
                    Am 
Kicking some secret special powers 
             C 
Illumination rounds in showers 
G 
Cause your tearing your hair out 
 D/F# 
While we can have a bed of flowers 

And I said 
Am 
Why can't you be 
         C 
Like the chicks out of the road 
               G 
Some girls are happy just to see me 
               Am 
Because you got moxie and a broken nose 
         C 
Take him away from this close 
            G 
Sometimes a blowjobs not enough 
Am                Am C/G C 
Why can’t you play 

A little less rough 

G 
Why can't you be 
 Am 
The part of me that's missing 
            C 
Instead of leaving me for some other 
           G 
Say we're perfect for each other 
      F                              Am        C G 
And I know we wont go spend our lives alone 

 F     Am 
Can we... 
 G 
just leave it be 
          F        Am           G 
And we can live... our lives... separately 
          F        Am 
Could you forget... what happens to you 
 G 
You and me 
 F                   Am 
When we're dead... and you'll be dead 
            G 
We'll have eternity 
                     F     Am 
And I will spend it all... missing you 
 G 
Seeing you with me 
                 F   Am 
So while I'm alive... 
G 
I will always be 

 Am 
Why can't you be 
 C 
Lookin' a little deeper into me 
     G 
Like JD Salinger 
         D/F# 
Why do I challenge her 
                    Am 
In all these surface ways 

That you displease 
     C 
Why can't you be 
         G 
A little more at ease 

 Am 
Why can't you be 
       C 
Like a hand rolled cigarette 

I’m not joking 
G                  D/F# 
This masochistic self-pity of smoking 
 Am 
And this city ditty 
   C                    G 
I keep provoking you to leave me 

She said 
Am 
Why can't you be 
C 
Like a candle I can snuff 
               G 
You’re still a diamond in the rough 
     D/F# 
And I swear to god I've had enough 
 Am        C 
How can I 
                  G 
call your bluff?