Note. this song is played with the capo on the 9th fret. To play without a capo, here are the substitute chords: 
G = E, C = A, D = B, Em = C#m 

(Capo 9)      
G                G                 C              C  
If I was in the fridge,  would you open the door? 
G            G                D              D    
If I was the grass, would you mow your lawn? 
G             G                    C              C  
If I was your body, would you still wear clothes? 
G           G                D               D 
If I was a booger, would you blow your nose? 
                C                  D  
Where would you keep it? Would you eat it? 
         G                      Em     C    D     G 
I'm just tryin to give myself a reason, for being around 

G 

G             G                          C            C  
If I was the front porch swing would you let me hang? 
G             G                     D                D  
If I was the dance floor would you shake your thing? 
G          G                      C             C  
If I was a rubber check would you let me bounce 
G      G                D             D  
Up and down inside your bank account? 
          C                D  
Would you trust me, not to break you? 
         G                    Em        C         D     G 
I'm just tryin really hard to make you, notice me being around 

G 

G          G                 C           C  
If I was a haircut would you wear a hat? 
G          G             D                D  
If I was a maid, could I clean your flat? 
G            G                C              C  
If I was the carpet would you wipe your feet 
G          G               D               D  
In time to save me from mud off the street? 
       C               D                              
If you like me, if you love me 
              G                          Em 
Why don't you get down on your knees and scrub me? 
             C      D           G      Em 
I'm a little grubby from being around 
             C      D           G       
I'm a little grubby from being around