F     G 
Hey girl I got somethin' real important to give you  
Cm 
So just sit down and listen  
F                                      G                       Cm 
Girl you know we've been together such a long long time (such a long time)  
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line  
(Wooow) You know it's Christmas and my heart is open wide  
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind  
A gift real special, so take off the top  
Take a look inside -- it's my dick in a box  
Not gonna get you a diamond ring  
That sort of gift don't mean anything  
Not gonna get you a fancy car  
Girl ya gotta know you're my shining star  
Not gonna get you a house in the hills  
A girl like you needs somethin' real  
Wanna get you somethin' from the heart  
Somethin' special girl  
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box babe  

It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl  
See I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs givin' (yeah)  
And I got just the one, somethin' to show ya that you are second to none  
To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress  
It's easy to do just follow these steps  
1: Cut a hole in a box  
2: Put your junk in that box  
3: Make her open the box  
And that's the way you do it  
It's my dick in a box... my dick in a box babe  
It's my dick in a box, my dick in a box girl  
Christmas; dick in a box  
Hanukkah; dick in a box  
Kwanzaa; a dick in a box  
Every single holiday a dick in a box  
Over at your parent's house a dick in a box  
Mid day at the grocery store a dick in a box  
Backstage at the CMA's a dick in a box (yeah-wow-wow-wow-wow-wow)  
A dick in a box, a dick in a box, a dick in a box...