Intro:  D D D Dsus4 D D2 D2 D (3X) 
 
 
        C          G/B                       A5         G 
And the sign said "Long-haired freaky people need not apply" 
     D                A                    G                  A 
So I tucked my hair up under my hat, and I went in to ask him why 
Bm                                              G 
He said "You look like a fine, upstanding young man, I think you'll do" 
     D                         A                  G              A 
So I took off my hat and said "Imagine that! Huh, me workin' for you!" 


      D            C            G 
Whoa, signs, signs everywhere a sign 
D                         C           G 
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind 
D                 A                        C     D (+intro suspensions) 
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

 
        C                 G/B                A5                   G 
And the sign said anybody caught trespassin' would be shot out on sight 
     D                         A 
So I jumped on the fence and I yelled at the house 
 G                       A 
"Hey, what gives you the right? 
Bm                                     G 
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep Mother Nature in, 
   D                 A                       G                       A 
If God was here he'd tell you to your face, "Man you're some kind of sinner!" 

(Chorus)
    
    
    A 
Now hey there mister can't you read? 
    G                      D 
You gotta have a shirt and tie to get a seat 
                         A 
You can't watch, no you can't eat 
G                     D 
You ain't supposed to be here........ 
C             G                        D             G 
Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside...Uhhh! 

(Instrumental/Solo) 
 
 
        C          G/B                     A5                 G 
And the sign said "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray" 
              D                                A 
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, 
  G                      A 
I didn't have a penny to pay 
     Bm                        G 
So I got me a pen and a paper, and I made up my own little sign 
         D                  A                      G               A 
It said "Thank you Lord for thinkin' about me, I'm alive and doin' fine!" 
 
 
(Chorus)X2