Intro: D % G A  (2x) 


Verse: 
D   (Dmaj7)  D 
When I'm watching TV, 
    G               A 
The girls are all I see, 
        D 
They're singing and dancing and acting and modelling, 
G                          A 
None of them would look at me. 
    D  
If I went to Jessica Simpson, 
      G                   A  
She'd think I was an ignoramus, 
    D 
And if I tried to talk to Cameron Diaz, 
           G                 A 
She'd say "get lost boy, I'm famous!" 
D 
All the women 'round here, 
      G              A 
Have BO or they have rolls, 
    D 
and some lucky bloke right now, 
            G               A 
is probably hugging Beyonce Knowles. 

Pre-Chorus 
G   
If I had Jessica Alba's number, 
A 
I'd call her right up, 
        G                  A        D 
and I'd ask her what she's doing at half past three, 
    G        A                D 
and then I'd ask her if she'd marry me, 
G 
If I had Jessica Alba's number, 
           A 
I'd be the luckiest guy in the world, 
           G           A       D 
I'd be the luckiest guy in the universe, 
    G            A              D 
And then some dick would try to steal her purse, 
       Gmaj7 
So I'd smack him in the head with my mobile phone and I'd say, 
 A 
   "Hey mister, leave Jessie alone!" 


Chorus: 
         G        A       D 
If I had Jessica Alba's number, 
         G        A       D  
If I had Jessica Alba's number, 
         G        A       D  
If I had Jessica Alba's number, 
         G        A       D 
If I had Jessica Alba's number, 


D % G A    x2 


verse 2: 
D 
Fit girls getting shot in films, 
G          A 
I'm always into ya'z, 
D 
I'd like to go see Toy Story 2, 
          G              A 
With just me and Britney Spears, 
                    D  
And then she'd say "Hit me baby one more time" and I'd say, 
G                         A 
"No way Britney, Domestic Violence is a crime", 
D 
I like the one from Showgirls, 
           G                    A 
When she's dancing 'round those poles, 
D          
Or the really, really fit one, 
    G                     A 
Who sings in the Pussycat Dolls. 

D 
I've nearly got a moustache, 
         Bm11                     A       
And they still wouldnt talk to me, 
D      
Kate Winslet naked in Titanic, 
       G                 A 
Or the lesbian from the OC. 


Play Pre-Chorus 
& Chorus 

G5 G5 G#5 A5 

Outro: 
         G        A       D 
If I had Jennifer Lopez's number, 
   G      A    D 
Or Kate Nash's Number, 
       G               A             D 
Or the girl who was in Transformers' number, 
   G        A      D      C    Bm7   A7     G    Asus4 A  G5   D     
Or Jessica Alba's number... 


Done. Cheers. please commy and rate