Em       
I've been feeling dull as a coat hanger 
  C                        G                A 
Pretty as a picture of a patient on a fresh iv 
Em                     C                              G                       A       B7 
Giddy as a gangbanger with a set of sutures where his magic johnson ought to be                 
Em                 Am                  F#dim          B7 
Yes i'll tell you just the thing you need to be the next big thing 
       Em              Am            F#dim      
Let's start in with a test of your intelligence 
    B7        
And zest for the counter-productive 
Em               Am             F#dim  
Up and down and roundabout and out the back 
     B7                   Em 
And keep your mouth shut tight 
               Am              F#dim             B7 
The lights are staying out but no sweat I've got aim like a mack truck 
Em             Am         F#dim          B7 
Guess how many fingers ok guess how many more i can fit there 
Em                  Am              F#dim                B7 
Guess right get the toaster but you know, miss, guessing gets you nowhere 

A                B 
I've been baking cakes for the enemy 
C                  G            A 
I've been dying to find out the hard way 
A               B 
Ive been taking friends to the alleyway 
C                      D 
Two down now but who's counting anyway? 

Em           Am             F#dim            B7 
Yes I can do everything you need from out of my new SUV 
Em             Am            F#dim              B7 
All my work is guaranteed to last the length of your recovery 
Em             Am           F#dim            B7 
Put away those pliers honey trust me cause I know the options 
Em           Am                F#dim        B7 
How about a nine-month long vacation and a two-foot coffin 

A                 B          
I've been getting up close and intimate 
C                   G         A   
Some close calls but I'm getting into it 
A                   B         
In some states they say you can burn for it 
C                 D     
But ill burn that bridge when i get to it 

D C# C B 

It's not a bad thing 

D C# C B 

To get professional 

D C# C B 

It's got a nice ring 

D C# C B 

Mandy goes to med school!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

A                B         
I've been taking tips from the government 
C                 G            A 
I've been getting damn good at hiding it 
A             B          
Fifty bucks a month ought to cover it 
C                    D 
Two down now but who's gonna notice it? 
    A                    B          
And if you show up and I am unavailable 
C                      D    
My partner brian would love to take care of you 

D C# C B 

He is a nice man 

D C# C B 

Thoroughly reliable 

D C# C B 
He's in a rock band 

D C# C B 
And he goes to med school..... 

Em Am F#dim B7 (x2) 

End on Em