Note 1: This song is a parody of 'Almost Persuaded' which was done by David 
Houston, and others. 
Note 2: Ben Colder was really Shep Wooley (who did 'Purple People Eater' in  
the late 50s).  

(G) Last night I stumbled (G7) in to a (C) bar room, hic! 
I met a (G) girl with a pint in her (D) purse (D7) 
She was (G) cute as (G7) two speckled (C) puppies 
And I said, (G) "Ben, (D) you could do (G) worse." 

Then I walked across the (G7) room full of (C) tables (I walked across  
her table too) 
And I (G) plopped myself down in a (D) chair (I said, "Hi (D7) there.") 
She (G) whispered, (G7) "My name is (C) Mable." 
And (G) all I could (D) say was, "Hi (G) there." 

I said, "Permit me to introduce myself, Ben Colder here." 
She said, "It ain't been no colder here than anyplace else." 

I had her al-(G7)-most per-(C)-suaded 
("What happened to the Diddle diddle do there?" (piano plays) "Thank you.") 
To (G) slip, strip herself of her (D) pride  (D7) 
(G) Al-(G7)-most per-(C)-suaded, to (G) slip me a (D) drink  
on the (G) side (E) 

Well then we (A) danced and we (A7) danced and we (D) danced 
and we danced 
That is I (A) thought I was dancin' till somebody stepped on my (E) hand (E7) 
Then I (A) looked in her (A7) eyes and I (D) saw it 
The re-(A)-flection of (E) my wedding (A) band 

(And I thought, "That sure is strange. I ain't even married." What it was is  
my wristwatch.) 

I had her al-(A7)-most per-(D)-suaded  
((piano plays) "Once more there, Hargis." (piano plays)) 
To (A) come and be my (E) own (E7) 
((piano plays comical notes) "Smart alec.")  
((A) Al-(A7)-most per-(D)-suaded) ("Boy.") 
Then her (A) boyfriend came and (E) made me go (D) home (A)