Intro: A C# (2x) 

  
A  
I can see it in your eyes girl  
            C#m  
That you're in the mood for love  
     F#m  
So I light some candles, pour some wine  
 D                  E  
Come sit down on the rug  

A  
But there's something I must tell you, babe  
C#m  
Before we take this step  
F#m  
Something about me girl  
   D                E  
That you do not know yet  

         A                  
I have no penis  
          A7+ 
It was torn off  
            D  
In a bicycle accident  
                   A  
In nineteen ninety nine  
                E   
I also lost one testicle  
                             D  
So all I have is a weird uni-ball  
                           A  
And a rubber tube, between my legs  
E                                  A  
But babe, I can love you in different ways  

A A7+  
 A  
I'll make love to you with the rubber tube  
       C#m  
That I use for urinating  
        F#m  
I'll just tape to Popsicle sticks around it  
D                        E  
Make it easier for penetrating  

    A  
And having only one ball  
      C#m  
Isn't always a bad thing  
           F#m  
It's like a pool ball in a pillow case  
            D               E  
It's like a cherry on a sundae  


'Cause girl   
          A  
I have no penis  
       A7+  
I have no cock  
                    D  
If it looks like I have a ball  
                             A  
Just 'cause I stuff it with a sock  
                   E  
Girl, I know that you're afraid  
                       D  
But I promise, baby, if you stay  
                               A  
I'll put a cucumber in the microwave  
    E  
And babe, I will love you in different...  
... ways  

A5 D5 (4x) 

A5  
Just because I don't have cock  
           D5                 A5 D5  
It doesn't mean I can't rock  
     A5  
Just because I don't have cock  
           D5                A5  D5  
It doesn't mean I can't rock  
A5  
Just because I don't have cock  
           D5                 A5 D5  
It doesn't mean I can't rock  
          A5  
Don't be fooled by my lack of cock 
         D5                 A5 
I'm just trying to fill the block hole. 

Oooh-yea