E 

    D#-E                   F#-G                   G#-A                              
         How do you do?  I      See you've met my    
                D#-E   G   G A    
    Faithful handy-man 
            D#-E                 F#-G                       G#-A   
    He's just a little brought down, because when you knocked 
                          D#-E      G   G A   
    He thought you were the candyman 
    D#-E                 F#-G                 G#-A   
       Don't get strung out, by the way I look 
                D#-E             G   G A  
    Don't judge a book by its cover 
          D#-E         F#-G                   
    I'm not much of a man by the light of day 
          G#-A                      E       
    But, by night I'm one hell of a lover 
               B7                      A                       E 
    I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual, Transylvania 
  
           E                      G 
    Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound 
        A                                 E 
    You look like you're both . .. pretty groovy 
              E                      G 
    Or if you want something visual . .. that's not too abysmal 
    A                                    E 
    We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie 

                E                          G 
    BRAD: We're glad we caught you at home, Could we use your phone? 
          A                  E 
    We're both in a bit of a hurry     JANET: Right!!  
                     E                          G 
    BRAD: We'll just stay where we are, then to back to our car 
       A                    E 
    We don't want to be any worry 
   
                         E                         G 
    FRANK: Well, you got caught with a flat, Well, how 'bout that? 
          A                 E 
    Well, babies, don't you panic 
           E                         G 
    By the light of the night, it'll all seem alright 
                   A         E 
    I'll get you a Satanic mechanic! 
               B7                      A                       E 
    I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual, Transylvania 

    (hard stop, chords struck hard and short) 

                                       E                          G 
    Why don't you stay for the night? (Night!) or maybe, a bite? (Bite!) 
                        A                E 
    I could show you my favorite .. . obsession 
              E             G 
    I've been making a man, with blond hair and a tan 
             A                           E 
    and he's good for relieving my .. . "tension" 
  
               B7                      A                       E 
    I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual, Transylvania 
               B7                      A                       E 
    I'm just a sweet transvestite from transsexual, Transylvania 
                  
   (spoken, chords struck hard and short) 
                           E                            G 
   So - come up to the lab,  and see what's on the slab 
                                           E 
   I see you shiver with antici.. . pation 
                       E                      G 
   But, maybe the rain, isn't really to blame 
                                                       (end loudly on E) 
   So, I'll remove the cause (chuckle), but not the symptom!