G       D       Cadd9      D               G     D  Cadd9  D 
It's amazing how pretty you looked on that night 
G     D           Cadd9           D         G      D  Cadd9  D 
Your skirt was so short and your top was so tight 
 Cadd9                      D 
I bought you a drink and we danced on the floor 
G                 D            Cadd9         D 
We pulled and you came back to mine for some more 

 G               D         Cadd9       D 
Your skirt ended up on the living room chairs 
          G           D              Cadd9       D 
And your top and your bra, they came off on the stairs 
     G                D             Cadd9 
And though you looked fit with your clothes on 
            D 
Man I was a fool... 
     Cadd9              D                        G     D  Cadd9  D 
Cos you look like shit, when you wear nothing at all 

G       D               Cadd9         D       G        D  Cadd9  D 
Oh the clothes that you wore looked a million dollars 
 G       D     Cadd9             D         G       D     Cadd9  D 
But the body beneath, it looked just like Rik Waller's 
  Cadd9                      D 
The make-up you wear is a clever disguise 
G             D                 Cadd9         D 
To hide your moustache and the squint in your eyes 

 G               D                Cadd9           D 
Your cellulite's dreadful, you're covered in zits and 
 G             D        Cadd9         D 
Your stomach's about as defined as quicksand 
    G        D           Cadd9                 D 
If I'm being honest your tits are unacceptably small 
 Cadd9                 D                      G    D  Cadd9  D 
So you look like shit, when you wear nothing at all 

 G      D            Cadd9      D        G     D  Cadd9  D 
When we went back to mine I was up for a shag 
 G      D         Cadd9           D      G     D  Cadd9   D 
In the bedroom I realise you're a dumpy old slag 
Cadd9                                 D 
Your pubes reach your navel and they cover your thighs 
 G       D             Cadd9     D 
Didn't know they made arses that size 

        G           D        Cadd9              D 
When we met on that night, I could swear that I never 
         G             D         Cadd9        D 
Would've guessed you're a female Andrew Lloyd Webber 
      G          D               Cadd9     D 
The hair on your chest's a bit endocrinological 
 Cadd9                  D                     G   D 
And you look like shit, when you wear nothing at all 

      G             D           Cadd9        D 
Your teeth are all yellow with bloody great gaps so 
      G         D          Cadd9    D 
Your face is a picture by Pablo Picasso 
       G            D             Cadd9             D 
I can see that your arse has it's own gravitational pull 
  Cadd9                 D                      G  D 
And you look like shit, when you wear nothing at all