C                
I'm gonna steal some bedsheets 
F             C 

From an amputee 
C 
I'm gonna mount em on a canvas 
       D                   G 
In the middle of the gallery 
F                      E        Am                  D   
I'm gonna tell everybody it was painted by a chimpanzee 
Am                   D                   
But just between you me 
G (single strum) 
Here at the cultural low water mark 
If it's fraud or art 
They'll pay you to believe 


C 

C 
I'm gonna take five young dudes 
F                C 
From white families 
C 
Gonna mount em on a billboard 
       D             G  
In the middle of the country 
F                   E                   Am                 D  
I'm gonna tell everybody they sing like angels with whiter teeth 
Am                       E  
But just between you and me 
G (single strum) 
They're just like the ones before 
With their standards lower 
Every concert goer will pay you to believe 

C 

F                        C 
Caffeine in the morning, alcohol at night 
F                            C 
Cameras to record you and mirrors to recognize 
           Am  
And as the world is getting smaller 
D 
Small things take up all your time 
          Am                               D  
Narcissus would have had a field day if he could have got online 
                 G  
And friends it's not self-love that kills you 
                    Am           D 
It's when those who hate you are allowed 
                 G                                 Am               D 
To sell you that you're a glorious shit the entire world revolves around 
                    G 
And that you're the eater, and not the eaten 
              Am               D 
But that your hunger will only cease 
            G                                    Am       D 
If you come binge on radiant blandness at the disposable feast 


(All single strum for thus part) 

     Am                    F  
Just quickly how would you rate yourself 
            Am                        F 
In terms of sex appeal and cultural significance  
Gm                       Gm 
Do you usually listen to music like this 
       Gm 
We can recommend some similar artists 
        Gm 
Are you feeling depressed? 
                    F# 
But your feedback's important 
   F  
To us 

(Return to strumming pattern) 


C 
Gonna buy myself a sports team 
F               C 
And put em in a pit 
C 
Gonna wage the old crusade 
D                G 
Against consciousness 
F                      E                    Am                D  
All I need is a couple winners to get every loser to fight in it 
             Am 
You keep the golden calf 
                    D  
I just need the bullshit 
G 
They won't just sell themselves into slavery 
They'll get on their knees and pay you to believe 

End on C