Eb 
Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter 
C 
In the hope that you will soon be feeling better 
Eb 
I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor 
C 
If you haven't then you know you really oughta 
Ab                                             F 
I was worried so I went to see the vicar but before I could confess 
F 
He did confess to be a stripper 
Eb                                         C 
Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him so I thought I'd write and ask for your opinion 
Eb 
Should I grass on him report him to the cardinal  
C 
Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional 
Ab 
If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser  
F 
But the only thing the stripper vicar wears (is plastic trousers) 
C   B    A    G            F     C    C  B   A   G       F       G 
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek Mavis' opinion is all we really 
C                            F                     C                 F 
Should we lie,  while he's still alive  should we lie,  while he's still alive 
               G                   F            
Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it 
Eb                                             C                                          
Dear Mavis I thought I'd follow up my letter drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar 
Eb                                            C 
Very tragically his time on earth has ended found him hanging in his stockings and suspender 
Ab                                                       F 
Dear Mavis if you tell us what your thoughts are and I hope they're not biased 
F 
(Cos you are the vicars daughter) 
   B    A    G            F     C    C  B   A   G       F       G 
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek Mavis' opinion is all we really 
C                            F                     C                 F 
Should we lie,  while he's still alive  should we lie,  while he's still alive 

C 
And we know him as our vicar and by night a part time stripper 
F 
And he's making wine from water while he dresses like his daughter 
C 
And we know that he's a rip off cos we've seen him with his kit off 
F 
C                            F                     C                 F 
Should we lie,  while he's still alive  should we lie,  while he's still alive 
               G                   F            
Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it