Intro: C G C G 

verse 1 
         C                     F 
It's the time of year now that spring is in the air 
           G                       C 
When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair 
                        F 
Make another song for maronic holidays 
         G                  C 
That nausiate ate ates in a million different ways 
                                F 
From the shores of Spain to the coast of southern France 
          D                               G 
No matter where you hide you just can't escape this dance 

verse 1 
G      C                          G 
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deck-chair up your nose 
                         C 
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes 
                                  F 
Paint your left knee green then extract your wisdom teeth 
       C                     G                 C 
Form a string quartet and pretend your name is Keith 

Up 1/2 tone 

verse 2  
A        D                   A 
Skin yourself alive learn to speak Arapaho 
                         D 
Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo 
                       G 
Eat a Renault 4 wear salami in your ears 
     D                   A                   D      A 
Casserole your gran disembowel yourself with spears 

Bridge  

    D                      G 
The disco is migrating the sound is loud and grating 
     E                      A 
It's truly nauseating let's do the dance again  

Up 1/2 tone 
   
verse 3   
B      E                          B 
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deck-chair up your nose 
                                 E 
Yes you'll hear this song in the holiday discos 
                             A 
And there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars 
          E                     B            E 
You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars 

Up 1 tone 
  
verse 4  
C#       F#                  C# 
Skin yourself alive learn to speak arapaho 
                         F#            
Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo 
                                         B 
Now you've heard it once your brain will spring a leak 
               F#                       C#             F# 
And though you hate this song you'll be humming it for weeks 

Outro up 1/2 tone to fade 
D      G                          D 
Hold a chicken in the air stick a deck-chair up you nose 
                         G 
Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes 
                     C         
La la la la la la la la la la 
      G              D           G 
La la la la la la la la la la la la