[D]I give wanking this morning 
[G]I never thought that I [D]could 
[G]I'm feelin' better [D]already 
And this time I'm [A]off it for [D]good 
 
[D]When I first wanked, I's though I's so clever 
And Gall of me mates, they were Dmugs 
GThought I was the first 
DBloke here on Earth 
EWho'd ever played with his Aslug 
 
DIt was me own little secret 
And GI never told anyDone 
And the Gfeelin' I got 
The Dfirst time I shot 
Was like chooks flyin' Aout o' me Dbum 
 
I'm Dgivin' up wanking...tomorrow 
GI never thought that I Dcould 
GThen I won't get these bad Dheadaches 
And then I'll be Aoff it for Dgood 
 
I've Dwanked in some unlikely places 
The Gshower, the beach and the Dpool 
A Gdunny, a tram and the Dpictures 
And Ebiology classes at Aschool 
 
And Donce me grandmother caught me 
GWankin' meself in me Droom 
But Gto her surprise 
I Djust shut me eyes 
And imagined her Astandin' there Dnude 
 
I'm Dgivin' up wanking...Tuesday 
GI never thought that I Dcould 
And Gthen I won't skwint like I Ddo now 
And then I'll be Aoff it for Dgood 
 
Me DDad says it's gonna take willpower 
There Greally is no easy Dtrick 
I Ghonestly thought I'd need Dsurgery 
To Ehelp get me hand off me Adick 
 
Me DDad's been a great inspiration 
He Greally has been a great Dhelp 
He Gknows what I go through 
And Djust what to do 
'Cause he give it up Ayesterd' himDself 
 
So DI'm givin' up wanking next Frid' 
GI never thought that I Dcould 
And GI'll throw away me thick Dglasses 
And then I'll be Aoff it for Dgood 
 
So if you Dsay you don't wank, you're a liar 
And a Gfool if you say that you Ddo 
So Gnext time you see, Prince DCharles on TV 
Remember he Awanks himself Dtoo 
 
So DI'm givin' up wanking come Christmas 
GI never thought that I Dcould 
And GI'll sell me dog and me Dwhite cane 
And then I'll be Aoff it for Dgood 
And GI'll throw away me dark Dglasses 
And then I'll be Aoff it for Dgood 
 
D G A D 
 
Submitted by: Russell Edwards ([email protected])