Verse 1:
 
               B 
It's Christmas Eve and I've 
             F# 
only wrapped two fucking presents 
          B 
Christmas Eve and I've only 
        F# 
wrapped two fucking presents 
      Abm 
And I hate hate hate your guts 
  E 
I hate hate hate your guts 
    B          F#           E 
And I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your dad will suck me off 
B          F#           E 
I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your mom will touch my cock 
B          F#           E 
I'll never talk to you again 
Ejaculate into a sock 
B          F#           E 
I'll never talk to you again 
           F# 
I'll never talk to you again 


Verse 2: 

           B 
It's Labor day and my Grandpa 
         F# 
just ate seven fucking hotdogs 
      B 
Labor day and my grandpa 
         F# 
just ate seven fucking hotdogs 
       Abm 
And he shit shit shits his pants 
     E 
He's always fucking 
shitting his pants 
    B          F#           E 
And I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your dad will suck me off 
B          F#           E 
I'll never talk to you again 
Unless your mom will touch my cock 
B          F#           E 
I'll never talk to you again 
Ejaculate into a sock 
B          F#           E 
I'll never talk to you again 
           F#           B   B 
I'll never talk to you again