(Intro) A G (x4) D7 G7 (x2) 

   D7                                G7 
Oh I was walking round my favourite store 
D7                                G7 
Searching for the ten pence off Lenor 
     D7                          G7 
When suddenly I bumped into this guy 
   D7                         G7 
On seeing who it was I gave a cry: 
(nc) 
’Fuckin’ ’Ell, it’s Fred Titmus!â? 

A G (x4) D7 G7 (x2) 

   D7                              G7 
Oh Jane was pushing baby round the park 
     D7                              G7 
When all at once she saw her husband Mark 
     D7                            G7 
Well he was with a man down by the stream 
   D7                          G7 
So Jane and baby both began to scream: 
(nc) 
’Fuckin’ ’Ell, it’s Fred Titmus!â? 

A G (x4) D7 G7 (x2) 

   D7                                G7 
Oh as the train pulled into platform three 
  D7                                G7 
I looked around for my best girl to see 
       D7                               G7 
As she disembarked but I didn’t seem to care 
     D7                                   G7 
’Cos someone passed that made me stop and stare. 

   D7 
Oh Dracula comes from Transylvania 

Stevie nicks books about kleptomania 

Johnny looked out of his bedroom window 
                                           A G (X4) 
And shouted to his mum ’Fred Titmusâ?.