Gm 
The average unmarried female 
                       D 
Basically insecure 
Gm                        Dm 
Due to some long frustration 
Eb    F       Eb F D 
May react 
          Gm 
With psychosomatic symptoms 
                        D    D7 
Difficult to endure 
        G                       Db11         C9 
Affecting the upper respiratory tract 
     F6 
In other words 
                 A7 
Just from waiting around 
              Bb                          Bbm6 
For that plain little band of gold 
     F         Gm7      C9       F6    F9 
A person    can develop a cold 
               Bb6 
You can spray her wherever you figure 
                  Bbm7  Bbm6 
The streptococci   lurk 
                F6 
You can give her a shot for whatever she's got 
          F                       F7 
But it just won't work 
             Bb6                       Bb7 
If she's tired of getting the fish-eye 
                F         Bbm6 
From the hotel clerk 
     F          Gm7    C9         F      C7  F 
A person     can develop a cold           it says here 
Gm 
The female remaining single 
                          D 
Just in the legal sense 
Gm                       Dm   Eb  F Eb F D 
Shows a neurotic tendency 
Gm 
Chronic organic syndromes 
                          D      D7 
Toxic or hypertense 
         G                    
Involving the eye, 
        Db11                     C9 
The ear,    the nose and throat 
     F6                                        A7 
In other words, just from wondering 
                     Bb                       Bb6 
Whether the wedding is on or off, 
    F           Gm7        C9        F6      F9 
A person       can develop a cough 
               Bb 
You can feed her all day 
                                              Bbm7   Bbm6 
With the Vitamin A and the Bromo Fizz 
             F6 
But the medicine never 
                                                  F              F7 
Gets anywhere near where the trouble is 
             Bb6                     Bb7 
If she's getting a kind of name for herself 
               F 
And the name ain't "his" 
    F           Gm7        C9        F       F7 D7 
A person       can develop a cough 
         G                                    B7 
And further more just from stalling 
                            C 
And stalling and stalling 
                      Cm6 
The wedding trip  
    G         Am7        D9        G       G7  
A person     can develop La gripe 
                   C 
When they get on a train 
                                                Cm7            Cm6 
For Niag'ra and she can hear church bells chime 
                    G6 
The compartment is air conditioned 
              G6                  G9 
And the mood sublime 
                  C                   C7 
Then they get off at Saratoga 
                 G             Cm6 
For the fourteenth time 
    G         Am7        D9        G       G7  
A person     can develop La gripe 
                   C 
La grippe, la post nasal drip 
                              Cm7            Cm6 
With the wheezes and the sneezes 
                    G6 
And a sinus that's really a pip 
              G6                  G9 
From a lack of community property 
                  C                   C7 
And a feeling shes getting too old 
    G         Am7        D9        G       G7  
A person     can develop a big, bad cold