Am                    F                 C            G 
The books you think I wrote are way too thick 
Am                   F            C                        G 
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick 
Am          F                       C            G 
And I don't watch you when you sleep 
Am           F                  C                   Em      F 
Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a fucking creep 

           Am       G             F 
You're not going to heaven 
                     Am             G               F 
Why the fuck did you think I'd ever kick it with you 
                Am       G 
None of you are going to heaven 
F                  Am     G              F 
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you 

F

Am            G                      Am                      G            F 
You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to 

F

Am                                   G                    C 
You shouldn't rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do 
 

Am            F                      C        G 
I don't think masturbation is obscene 
Am              F               C                           G             Am 
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen 
            F                 C        G 
You make my job a living hell 
Am             F                 C 
I sent gays to fix overpopulation 
            G       F 
Didn't that go well 

           Am       G            F 
You're not going to heaven 
               Am              G            F 
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns 
                Am       G            F 
None of you are going to heaven 
              Am               G                F 
You're not my children you're a bad game of sims 



Am                         G                Am           G          F 
You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to 



Am                       G                           C 
You can eat pork because why the fuck would I give a shit 


Am                F              C          G 
You argue and you bicker and you fight 
Am           F          C                     G       Am 
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night 
     F                  C           G 
Over what they think is true 
Am         F              C                               G             F 
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you 
            Am        G            F 
You pray so badly for heaven 
                Am         G            F 
knowing any day may be the day that you die 
                  Am             G           F 
But maybe life on earth could be heaven 
                         Am            G              F 
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try


F                     C          F                 G 
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn 
             C     F         C     G 
And when you earn it you won't need it 



Am                 G                 Am            G       F 
I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to 
Am                                G                  C 
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you