"I Never Expected" written by Shel Silverstein. Recorded by Mel Tillis and the Old Dogs  
(Mel Tillis, Bobby Bare, Waylon Jennings and Jerry Reed) on the 1998 album "Old Dogs Vol. 2" 


Spoken 

Now friends I'd like to make...a short address, 
to those who lived furious and fast. 
So let me take off my coat and clear my throat, 
and finish what's left in my glass 

You see standing before you a barely living example 
Of the wild life's (say it Mel, Say it) 
(gulp) do's and don'ts 
But the danger is not that the fast life's gonna kill you 
The real danger is that it won't 

G  C 
I never expected to last this long 
F                              C                                           
It caught me completely by surprise 
F                      C             A7 
I put aside enough to let me live just fine 
D                                G  
But I never guessed I'd last past 49 

C 
I thought by now my friends would be toasting my memory 
F                               C 
While the Devil was toasting my souL 
F                         C              A7 
Oh but it's just my luck, I outlived my bucks 
D                             G  
It's the saddest story ever told 
F              G             C        G 
Oh, how could I have got this old 

C                                                         F                    C 
Hey Mel, you should have bought a piece of the rock...Or a no risk retirement plan 

   F                       C         A7     D                    G    
But instead I invested in all night bars, slow dancing ladies, fast moving cars 
C                                                         F                        C 
I thought by now I'd be safe resting peaceful in my grave due to all the women and song 
F                          C                      A7 
So I'd made no preparations for a drawn out situation 

D                                           
How could you have been so wrong? 
F                G              C     G 
I never dreamed I'd last this long 

C 
Live fast, die young have a good lookin' corpse 
F                            C 
That's the motto we live so well 
F                            C                  A7 
So I played it hard and high but somehow I didn't die 
D                             G 
And I think my corpse is gonna look like hell 


C 
And the slight miscalculation on the date of my expiration 
F                              C 
Left me singing this sad, sad song 
F                                 C                           A7 
So buddy can you spare a quarter, I'm living longer than I oughter 
D 
How could you have been so wrong? 
F               G                C 
I never thought i'd last this long 
A7               A 
Pour me the metamucl 
F             G               C 
Never thought I'd Last this long