Gatesy: Okay, there was Footloose, Pauline Hanson in gaol, alpacas, pickles,  
	T-shirts with stupid phrases on them...   
Scod:  	Specifically, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me".   
Gatesy: Yeah, that's the one. And it's sort of a Beach Boys thing... more  
	from the "pet sounds" era...   
Yon:  	Less than the "surf's up"... well, I dunno, "surf's up" is later...  
	let's not get bogged down in Beach Boys history.   
Gatesy: And there's a little bit of Beastie Boys in there too.   
       
 
G	G				Am	       E 
Tripod: If it is true that there's just six degrees of near,   
   	F      C    D 
	Why am I so lonely?   
   	G			 Am	  E 
	I drift from town to town nomadically.   
      	F      C		D 
Gatesy: Nobody wants me, 'cause fame is so fickle,   
   	   F		 C 
	If this town's a burger,   
	     D(let ring) 
Tripod: Then I am the pickle.   
      	 
Scod:  	It's about Kevin Bacon, by the way.   
      		D		G 
Yon:  	'Cause I get thrown out of the town,   
G & S:  	Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...   
	D			G 
Yon:  	Like the burger, you know, sliding down the... I'll leave that.   
G & S:  Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...   
       
	C		  D 
Tripod: Such a shame that I got arrested,   
	G		G7 
Gatesy: For wearing an obscene T-shirt.   
   	C		  D 
	All it said was, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me",   
   	G		    G7 
	It's just 'cause my name is...   
      		  C     D 
Tripod: ... Kevin Baco___n,   
   	      Em     C 
	Kevin Baco____n.   
   			C	  D			G 
	It's a joke I'm maki_______n'...   
Gatesy: Bacon - pork... get it?   
 
      	G			       Am	       E 
Tripod: But they didn't get it and I'm sittin' here in gaol,   
   	F	  C	      D 
	Doin' the hand-spider movement.   
       
Yon:  	People who weren't at this gig will never get this joke... get over it.   
      G				Am	   E	 
Tripod: I had to bunk up with a former politician,   
	F	   C	       D 
Gatesy: I use that term rather liberally.   
   	F	     C		 D 
	Then Pauline busted some rhymes for me.   
       
Gatesy: (Rapping) You feelin' like you failed,   
   	Now ya sittin' in gaol,   
   	The only thing you have for a toilet is a pail.   
       
   	But Kevin, stop dancin'   
   	And listen to me, I'm Pauline Hanson,   
   	I'll get ya out of here, gotta listen to my plan, son.   
       
Yon:  	(Normally) Okay, so now she starts talking. Okay, so what there is is, right...   
Gatesy: Why have you stopped bustin' out the rhymes, man?   
Yon:  	'Cause there's a lot of information in this next bit and I think it'll be a  
	bit clearer if I...   
Gatesy: Okay, before you tell me that, can I just do another chorus?   
Yon:  	Yeah.   
      	      C   D 
Tripod: Kevin Bacon,   
   	      Em  C 
	Kevin Bacon.   
   			C   D			G 
	It's a joke I'm makin'...   
Gatesy: Get it?   
       
Yon:  	No, no, I don't get it. Are you making fun of me?   
Gatesy: No, no, I'm not making fun of you, Pauline.   
Yon:  	'Cause... 'cause I know what xenophobia is - it's making fun of the Chinese.   
Gatesy: No!   
       
   	Pauline... Pauline, tell me about that plan.   
Yon:  	Oh, yeah...   
Gatesy: About escaping, yeah?   
Yon:	Yeah. Okay, so there's an alpaca, right? You know, you probably see him  
	around - the gaol alpaca.   
Gatesy: Oh, the gaol alpaca!   
Yon:  	And I reckon if you can get him up to about 70 miles per hour, I reckon  
	you can clear that fence.   
   	You know, Steve McQueen-like.   
Gatesy: Cool. Fantastic.   
Yon:  	That's basically it.   
      	G			      Am		 E 
Tripod: So I jumped on the thing that looked just like a camel,   
   	F	     C	       D 
	Mixed with a deer or a pony.   
   	G		       Am	     E 
	I rode off into the sunset with my alpaca,   
   	F	 C	 D 
	I was no longer alone-y.   
      	D			    G 
   	Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...   
   	D			    G 
	Ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo oooh...   
      	C		       D 
   	It's such a shame that I got arrested,   
   	G	       Em 
	For wearing an obscene T-shirt.   
   	Em		  D 
	All it said was, "Kiss Me Then Pork Me",   
	G 
Gatesy: It's just 'cause my name is...   
      		   C   D 
Tripod:  ... Kevin Bacon,   
   		Em  C 
	I'm not fakin',   
		     C	    D	 
Gatesy: I'm making a statemen',   
   		  G	G G G C  C  G 
	I'm Kevin Bacon!