INTRO: Am C F G C 
 
C 
Me and my buddy got us a wild hair 
    F 
And figured we wanted to go somewhere 
      G                      C 
So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet 
C 
We had a little bit of money and a whole lot of show 
          F 
What with Hank Jr. blarin' on the radio 
         G                                  C 
We got a tank full of gas and we was on our way 
 
 
We figured we'd go down to New Orleans 
We were barrelin' down old sevetneen 
When a man with a blinkin' red light was on our tail 
He saidd you were doin' 60 in a 45 
But I'm gonna let you go this time 
But if I catch you again I'm gonna slap you in the county jail 
 
We said thank you sir you've sure been nice 
And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice 
And we were southbound and down with the wind blowin' in our faces 
We kept on rollin' and pretty soon 
The radio was cooking out a Haggard tune 
And we were pullin' into and Houston checking out all them places 
 
I was feeling dry and I said I think 
We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink 
And old Jim said yeah 'cause we've got time to kill 
We kept on rollin' and I seen this spot 
And we pulled into the parking lot 
Of this place called the Cloud Nine Bar and Grill 
 
We walked thru the door and the place was jammed 
The lights were low and they had a punk rock band 
And some orange haired feller singing about suicide 
I said Jim this ain't our kind of place 
He said well let's just have one round anyway 
So against my better judgement we walked on inside 
 
Went up to the bar and we sat down 
This feller walked up and said I'll buy this round 
And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim 
He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy 
He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes 
And everybody in that place looked just about like him 
 
I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar 
Let's just go on out and get back in the car 
'Cause there's gonna be trouble ain't no sense in takin' a chance 
We was gettin' up gettin' ready to leave  
When somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve 
It was this good looking girl she was asking my buddy to dance 
 
I said Jim don't do it there's something missin' 
There's fellers dancin' and fellers kissin' 
There's a feller in high heel shoes wearin' panty hose 
He said partner I just can't turn this down 
You just go over there and have one more round 
And I'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road 
 
So he walked away and left me alone 
And this funny lookin' feller kept comin' on 
And he was makin' me mad with some of the things he said 
And then he put his hand on my knee 
I said if you don't get your paw off me 
I'm gonna locate your nose around on the side of your head 
 
He said I love it when you get that fire in your eye 
I said well partner try this on for size 
I unloaded on him and he went out like a light 
Everybody in that place must have been his friend 
They all headed for me I said this is the end 
But where I come from we don't give up without a fight 
 
They were screamin' and yellin' and scratchin' and clawin' 
I was punchin' and hittin' and kickin' and pawin' 
I was holdin' my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two 
Old Jim come runnin' up outta the blue 
And that gal he was with come runnin' up too 
And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe 
 
C 
I grabbed her by the hair and it come off in my hand 
         F 
And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man 
        G                                    C 
And old Jim just got sick right there on the floor 
C 
He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun 
F 
Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run 
    G/                                             C    G     
And me and old Jim started fightin' our way to the door 
 
 
(KEY CHANGE TO D) 
 
   D 
We lit out of there in that Chevrolet 
      G 
And I put her on the floor and it stayed that way 
       A                                                D  
We was going down the highway doin' about a hundred and ten 
D 
We was headed for home and we was gettin' nearer 
       G 
Then a red light come up in the rearview mirror 
         A                                  D     A 
And that same blame cop was pulling us over again 
 
 
(KEY CHANGE TO E) 
 
        E 
Now I'm sittin' here in this county jail 
         A 
I had to call my daddy to go our bail 
      B                                            E 
But I learned me a lesson that I never will forget again 
     E 
I've done give up drinkin' I've give up bars 
    A 
And runnin' around the country in souped up cars 
          B/                       B/                    A   B  E/ 
I'm goin' back where the women are women and the men are men