Intro: C E F G 

C           E        F         G 
This is the story of our first teacher 
C                 E 
Shetland made her jumpers 
F                      G 
And the devil made her features 
C            E             F            G 
Threw up her hands when my mum said our names 
C           E               F               G 
Embroidered all her stories with slanderous claims 

C E F G 
It's over and done with... 


This is the story of losing my virginity 
I held my breath and the bed held a trinity 
People I'm making no claims to no mystery 
But sometimes it feel like 
My sex lifes all history 

It's over and done with... 

C                           E 
I'm not saying these events didn't 

Touch our lives in any way 
C                             G 
But, ah, they didn't make the impression 

That some people say 

This is the story of watching a man dying 
The subjects unpopular 
But I don't feel like lying 
When I think of it now I acted like a sinner 
I just washed my hands 
Then I went for my dinner 

C E F G 
It's over and done with...