Transcribed by Rob 
[email protected] 
 
 
 
Here we go! 
 
 
G  A#  C  F (x4) 
 
 
G                   A#          C      F 
My girlfriend don't love me no more,  
G             A#        C        F 
I'm trying my best but she wants more.  
          A#(pm)                     C(pm) 
She says 'Why can't you be like that guy on TV?  
   A#(pm)                  F(stop) 
He calls himself naked but wears a skivvy.'  
  G          A#            C       F 
I decided to make her some food.  
        G            A#           C      F 
Well, I stood at the stove in the nude,  
    A#(pm)                     C(pm) 
But then I found out, why he's not tackle out,  
        A#(pm) 
Why his not in the buff,  
           C(pm) 
While he's cooking his stuff.  
  F(let ring) 
I discovered a whole new meaning to fat fire!  
 
 
G             C         D 
I'm trying so hard to impress her,  
           G            C       D 
But in the kitchen I'm making a mess-er.  
   G         F       Em 
My pasta's a huge disaster,  
      G         F       Em 
She's not in a hurry to eat my curry,  
        D(let ring) 
And my soup spelt backwards is poos.  
     C             G 
I've got a new recipe,  
A 
Maybe if he uses it, she'll love me.  
 
 
   G      C         F 
Oh postie please deliver,  
   G            C       F 
My sandwich to Jamie Oliver.  
           G            F           Em 
That would be the best gift I could give her,  
      D(let ring)                           G 
If my sultana sandwich made it on the Naked Chef.  
G  A#  C  F (x2) 
(Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Alright! Rocking out to the kids man!  This is the impro bit)  
 
 
      G            A#           C       F 
I can just see him now on his show,  
           G            A#      C          
In between washing his car and riding his moped.  
    A#(pm)                  C(pm) 
His beautiful flat, and his trendy speech impediment,  
        D(let ring) 
Does he ever have time to cook?  
 
 
G  A#  C  F 
 
 
Well, what we've a got now is this new recipe posted in from Merrick, yeah Merrick, yeah.  
It's a sultana sandwich, you know, it's a bit weird. Bit like me, cause I'm a bit weird.  
I'm a bit on the edge, I'm a bit cool, you know?  
I'm young - old people don't really get me cause I'm fantastic. Yeah, I'm bloody great.  
 
 
   G      C         F 
Oh postie please deliver,  
   G            C       F 
My sandwich to Jamie Oliver.  
           G            F           Em 
That would be the best gift I could give her,  
      D(let ring)                           F(lrt ring) 
If my sultana sandwich made it on the Naked Chef. What a gyp!  
 
 
F(let ring) 
Girls get Jamie Oliver.  
                   G 
And we get Two Fat Ladies.