Part 1 
    Dm          F                 G                 Dm 
The pilot had a heart attack. The co-pilot can't be found. 
    Dm                       F               G                       Dm 
The people in the aisles are screamin'. They know the plane is goin' down. 
          Dm               F 
We need a hero, someone to save us. 
          G                F 
We need a hero to land the plane. 
          Dm                F 
We need a hero, who's gonna do it. 
          Dm      F        Dm 
We need a hero to save the day. yeah! 
     Dm                     F              G                       Dm 
So I jump to my feet, and I volunteer. The people on the plane all start to cheer. 
        Dm               F           G                    Dm 
I get a high five from a baby, and a hickey from a flight attendant. 
     Dm                           F              G             Dm 
So I go into the cockpit put the headset on, and grab the main controls. 
       Dm           F         G               F                   Dm 
Then I right away I crash the plane because I don't know what I'm doin'. 

Part 2 
      Dm           F          G               Dm 
We're on a runaway train. The conductor had a meltdown. 
    Dm                   F       G                       Dm 
The people in the dining car are screaming really really loud. 
          Dm               F 
We need a hero, someone to save us. 
          G                            F 
We need a hero to bring us through the danger. 
          Dm              F 
We need a hero, somebody competent. 
          Dm      F        Dm 
We need a hero to save the day. Yeah! 
     Dm                            F                   G                 Dm 
So I put the engineer's hat on the top of my head. The people go f***in' crazy. 
  Dm                    F                G                     Dm 
A guy says, "You're the man, man", and a deaf woman signs, "Go get em'". 
     Dm                  F                        G                                Dm 
So I go to the cab and I toot the whistle. That's something that I alway wanted to do. 
     Dm            F           G                 F                   Dm 
Then right away we fly off the bridge, because I don't know what I'm doin' 

Part 3 
      Dm               F                      G                       Dm 
We're in a nice family restaurant. Somebody's Grandma is choking on a lamb chop. 
        Dm                         F                    G                                    Dm 
There's panic in the air as Nana's face turns blue. The busboy screams in spanish, "What the F*** do we do?!" 
          Dm                F 
We need a hero, who's gonna do it. 
          G                     F 
We need a hero to clear out her windpipe. 
          Dm                    F 
We need a hero, who's down with Heimlich? 
          Dm      F        Dm 
We need a hero to save the day. Yeah! 
     Dm                         F            G                      Dm 
So I slap my napkin down on the table, and I get a f***in' standin' ovation. 
        Dm                          F         G                          Dm 
Another guy gets up and says he's a doctor. I say, "Sit the f*** down, I got this s***. 
       Dm                  F                    G                              Dm 
Then I wrap my arms around Grandma's chest, and look her grandkids deep in the eyes. 
     Dm           F             G               F                   Dm 
Then right away I break all her ribs, because I don't know what I'm doin'