If

[Verso 1]
 
      C                          F       F7 
Well if I was a banker I'd be a bad one 
    C                         G     G7 
And if I was a doctor I'd be broke 
     C           C7             F                F7 
And if I was a lawyer, I'd have quite the reputation 
    D7                  G                  C       C7 
Of wearing patched up jeans and a torn up coat 
 


[Verso 2]
 
    C           C7              F      F7 
And if I was religious I'd be drunker 
    C                                G    G7 
And if I's a politician I'd die from smoke 
    C                C7             C             F7 
And if I didn't know no better I'd run off on the bum 
 D7             G               C 
Without tellin' anybody that I know 
 


[Refrão]
 
       F                                C    C7 
Oscar Wilde wrote bout living like an artist 
           F                  Fadd9          G     G7 
And how an engineer's all an engineer could be 
      C               C7            F                    F7 
Well ain't it just a shame all them artists raised our rents up 
      D7                   G                    C    C7 
When all their engineering fathers paid their lease 
 


[Verso 3]
 
     C          C7            F      F7 
Well if I had a hammer I'd be famous 
      C            C7             G     G7 
For singing older songs I barely know 
    C               C7       F              F 
To young urban professional, real go-getter types y'know 
      D7             G                  C 
Them golden boys and gals like all you folks 
 


[Verso 4]
 
    C              C7           F       F7 
And if I played harmonica like Guthrie 
          C            C7               G      G7 
I'd be a sugarfree Bob Dylan without a growl 
    C                 C7                 F                  F7 
I'd probably get more gigs, I'd probably kick against less pricks 
            D7            G             C 
But I could never jump a train good anyhow 
 


[Refrão]
 
    F                               C        C7 
And I once heard a drunk guy sing Irene goodnight 
     F                       Fadd9               G     G7 
In a way that made me wanna die on the barroom floor 
     C                C7         F                 F7 
But when I turn my radio on and hear them billion dollar songs 
   D7              G                C 
I wanna die in a different way for sure 
 


[Verso 5]
 
     C                C7                F     Fadd9 
Well people think I'm joking when I'm singing 
    C                 C7                   G     G7 
But in between these punchlines there's a truth 
    C                 C7                   F                Fadd9 
And when it's plainly said, well it kinda messes with your head instead 
D7                         G           C 
Exchanging glances, you'll call me uncouth 
 


[Verso 6]
 
    C            C7             F      F7 
But if I died a man of good persuasion 
     C               C7                 G       G7 
And all the damage I done,  was to only me 
      C                   C7                F                F7 
Well when they laid my final bed, for that lonesome valley kind of rest 
     D7              G               C 
Well that'd be the greatest thing to be 
      F              D7 
Yeah that'd be the greatest thing 
   C         G C 
To be