Riff 1 
(G C G D G C G D G) X 2 
 
G 
Everyday in Lunch in high school  
       D 
And all my senior year, 
                                             
                              C             G 
I'd drink my coca-cola with a touch of everclear. 
                             D 
I didn't have to study math, science or history, 
                                               
                                 C            G 
I'd have a chemical flashback to jog my memory. 
                               D 
My junior year I swore I loved sweet miss Sherry Ann 
                                                      
                                      C           G 
One night I put some everclear in her dr. pepper can. 
  C 
I thought it would make her easy, 
G 
But she took it pretty hard 
           D 
I took her home and rang her doorbell, 
           C              G  
Left her laying in the yard. 
 
CHORUS 
C                G 
Tequila dries me out, 
C                       G 
And beer just makes me fat, 
D 
Whiskey makes me nauseous, 
        C                  G 
Tell me who the hell needs that. 
G 
If you're thinkin' bout drinkin, 
     D 
The answer's crystal clear, 
 
It's the invisible intoxicant, 
C                           
It's called everclear. 
 
Riff 1 X 2 
G 
I remember my church picnic 
        D 
In the spring of '89 
 
They had four fresh watermelons,  
C                         G 
Sliced right off the vine. 
 
When the bowed their heads 
D 
Giving Grace for the food, 
 
I pulled out my bottle, 
           C             G 
And I soaked them melons good. 
 
They never knew what hit em, 
         D 
When the potion went to work, 
 
They had grandmas doing backflips, 
         C                G 
Grandpas looking up their skirts. 
          C 
They were singing hallelujah, 
    G 
And Willie Nelson songs. 
            D 
My preacher said it was the best dang picnic 
         C 
That the Baptists have ever thrown. 
 
CHORUS 
 
SOLO 
Play RIFF 1, 3 times 
 
G 
Well now I'm drinking everclear, 
             D 
Thinking I'm king of this whole world 
 
I'm bigger n badder than John Wayne, 
C                  G 
Cooler than Steve Earl. 
G                      D 
Till I wake up and I'm face down in the hall, 
                                        
                               C              G 
And I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall 
G                            D 
I'm kinda sorta thinkin that maybe I met a chick 
 
Cause there is perfume in the air  
             C             G 
And there is lipstick on my neck 
       C 
Well I hope that she was pretty, 
      G 
And I hope that she was kind 
D 
Enough to leave my clothes somewhere  
        C 
They're easy to find 
 
CHORUS 
 
Riff 1 X 3