Goodbye

C                      Dm        G 
I wanna say your're a real good guy 
 C                            F 
But we'd both know that would be a lie 
 Dm 
It's been a nightmare being your friend 
G 
So it's time for this charade to end 

C                Dm  G 
I can't say goodbye 
C                                 F 
'Cause you might grind me down into meat pie 
 Dm 
I'll tell the school that you've got avian flu 
    G 
So it'll be their job to get rid of you 

C                         Dm     G 
I hope they put you into quarantine 
C                                 F 
Or lock you up until you turn eighteen 
Dm 
So maybe then I'll never have to fear 
 G 
That you might suddenly bite off my ear 
 A 
(Please don't bite off my ear!) 

                Bb  Bm 
I can't say goodbye 
     G                               Bm 
My face will be too mangled to identify 
Em 
If I could get your house repossessed 
A4 
You'd be forced to relocate to your grans in the northwest 

F#m                 Bm 
I could get you arrested for stealing a car 
Em                A4 
I could get you a job as a miner 
F#m                   Bm 
I could ship you in a crate to qatar 
Em                         A4 
Or sell you as kebab to a dirty diner 

(It's not real meat, anyway!) 

Bm                           A4 
I could get your folks to forget you on the freeway 
G                        D 
Sell you to a freak show on its way to uruguay 
Em                          D 
I could get you stuck on a fair ground ride (forever) 
Em 
Send you to a wedding in somewhere-stan 
A4 
With you as the bride 

                 Bb  F# 
I can't say, goodbye 
Bm 
But it's no use trying to deny 
Em 
That I don't wanna be friends with you 
A4 
So do whatever you have to do