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I was watch?n TV with my buddy Stevie, 
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 when I saw the strangest thing. 
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It was so compelling a woman selling 
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 Maxi Pads that had wings. 
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I turned to channel three and what did I see,  
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a woman who looked real rich. 
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She was liv?in on a hill and pitch?n Vagisil 
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 for the special feminine itch. 
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So I tried once more and I turned to channel four,  
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I was shocked I must confess. 
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A gal who was chunky said when she?s smell?n funky  
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she just squirts it with FDS. 
 
 
 
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Well it?s on every station it?s plug?n up the nation 
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 with feminine hygiene ads. 
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Douches and ointments and OBG appointments 
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 and don?t forget your Maxi Pads. 
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Cause they have wings to fly, 
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 lets give it a try, for feminine hygiene. 
 
 
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Well a mama and daughter walk?in by the water 
 
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 somebody don?t feel fresh. 
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Monistat Seven put her back in heaven 
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 cause the yeast really makes a mess. 
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A middle aged debutant look?n for a lubricant, 
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 they still can hear her voice. 
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 Her mama done told her when a woman gets older 
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 the muffin downstairs don?t stay moist. 
 
 
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Well it?s on every station an over saturation 
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 of feminine hygiene games. 
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Creams and lotions and all her emotions 
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 and all the water she retains. 
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It?s so insane this game,       
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 there?s to many names for feminine hygiene. 
 
 
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                       Why do we have to view, 
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 all that stuff girls go thru. 
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It?s really got my stomach reeling 
 
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                     Lets give those ads we see 
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  a hysterectomy 
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 or at least, make them more appealing.  
 
 
 
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Cause there on every station an over saturation 
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 of feminine hygiene ads. 
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Douches and ointments an OBG appointments, 
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 Creams and lotions and all her emotions. 
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Summers Eve and Massengill 
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 and if you itch use Vagisil 
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Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X, 
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 Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an Replens 
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Motrin and Midol for when your suicidal, 
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 Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this a pad for that 
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The list goes on and on. 
 
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It?s so insane to me 
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 it?s on my TV  
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Feminine Hygiene 
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Oh!    Oh!     Oh!  
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It?s on my TV it?s Feminine Hygiene 
 
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