Adam:  	Take it away, Tripod - dermophilia {having sex with trees},  
	slagging off {another comedy festival comedian}, fish fingers,  
	and the Iraqi Info Minister!   
      	 
Main riff: 
  A Asus4		     G 
|----------------------------3-3--- 
|-2-3-2--3-2-----------------3-3--- 
|-2-2-2--2-2-----------------0-0--- 
|-2-2-2--2-2---2p0----2p0----0-0--- 
|-0-0-0--0-0-------2------2--2-2--- 
|----------------------------3-3--- 
 
	riff 
Gatesy:	In these uncertain times,   
	riff 
   	My head's so full of noise pollution.   
	riff 
   	With all these problems on my mind,   
	riff 
   	It's so hard to find a solution.   
      	 
	C 
Yon:  	Why do men have breasts,   
	    D 
   	And why don't they wear ties?   
	C 
   	Aren't they related,   
		D 
   	Tell me please.   
      	 
	Em		 
Scod:  	The media and politicians,   
   	C 
	Fill my head with lies.   
	 
	    A 
Tripod: And I can't see the forest,   
   		D(let ring) 
	For the trees... the trees... the trees...   
      	 
Tripod: Trees... mmmm... oh God... mmmm...   
      	 
	riff 
 
	riff 
Scod:  	Where was I? I just got distracted,   
	riff 
Tripod: Oh yeah, I was in a quandry.   
      	C 
Yon:  	I wish I was incisive,   
   		  D 
	Like that other guy I know.   
   	   C 
	An Adelaide comedian,   
   	  D 
	I went and saw his show.   
      	Em 
   	Justin Hamilton,   
   	     C 
	That sexy little whore.   
   	A 
	He always leaves his audience,   
   		D 
	Wanting more.   
      	 
Tripod: He leaves... his audience... leaves... leaves... oh...   
Scod:  	Oh... not again...   
Gatesy: Leaves...   
      	 
	D7 
	 
	G		    C 
Tripod: I need someone I can trust,   
   	G			 A#	C 
	Someone who's got it all sussed,   
   	G			C 
	See him rising from the dust.   
   	     F(let ring) 
	In a world so cold and sinister,   
   	C(let ring) 
	Won't you help me,   
   		      C	  G  		C   G   E7 
	Iraqi Information Minister?   
      	(Play riff throughout fish finger solo) 
Scod:  	Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time ever, Tripod get 
	multi-instrumental!   
   	Gatesy and Yon on the fish finger solo!   
       
	(Scod keeps playing while Gatesy plays a drum beat on the fish finger  
	box with the frozen fish fingers)   
	(Gatesy starts throwing the fish fingers into the crowd)   
      	 
Scod:  	Okay... umm... now sing again...   
      	 
Yon:  	(To the radio listeners) If you're listening, that bit was really good.   
Gatesy: Yeah!   
Yon:  	Oh, where are we?   
      	 
Gatesy: (To the audience) Don't piff the fish fingers back!   
      	riff 
Scod:  	He's a man who trusts himself,   
	riff 
Gatesy: He won't let his eyes deceive him.   
	riff 
Yon:  	He talks such shit with absolute conviction,   
	riff 
Tripod: You can't help but believe him.   
      							D7 
Yon:  	Oh, I think we're back on Justin Hamilton now.   
      	G		     C 
Tripod: I need someone I can trust...   
Yon:  	With his rough, dry skin...   
	G		A#    C 
G & S:  He's got it all sussed...   
Yon:  	It's like bark...   
	G			C 
G & S:  See him rising from the dust...   
Yon:  	And his willowy arms...   
	     F(let ring) 
G & S:  In a world so cold and sinister,   
	C(let ring) 
	Won't you help me...   
Yon:  	And his Japanese bonsai cock 'n' -balls...   
      		      C	  G		C   G   C D G 
Tripod: Iraqi Information Minister?