Intro: C C F C (2x) 

          C                                      F                     C 
There's a small town in the mountains where the streets are wide and still 
             F                         C F-C 
There are children making angels in the snow 
      F               G 
The sunset paints the sky at night 
      C       G       Am 
An old man works by candlelight 
   Dm                       G 
A tiny baby smiles and waves hello 
        F                  Dm       G     C 
In the cold gray light of dawn an eagle flies 
        Bb              Am             G 
And the men are happy wearing matching ties 

          Bb        F 
A pair of poodles 
         Ab               C 
A broken finger will not bend 
          Bb        F 
Soup with noodles 
         C 
A female Klingon's drunk boyfriend 
          Bb        F 
A sexy lady 
               Ab              C 
This party's better than it seems 
       Bb 
Warren Beatty 
        F              G 
Dear sleeping giant panda: pleasant dreams 

C C F C x2 

     C 
A visit to the dentist 
     F               C 
A place to get some pie 
     F                        C F-C 
A rainbow floats above a waterfall 
      F               G 
A ferris wheel, a carousel 
     C        G       Am 
The landlord never learned to spell 
  Dm                        G 
Someone put graffiti on the wall 
  F                 Dm       G      C 
Atop the Christmas tree, a shining star 
     Bb              Am          G 
And Dwyer's rocking out on air guitar 

                Bb        F 
A freight train passes 
            Ab            C 
Someone's grandma owns a gun 
               Bb         F 
A dog with glasses 
             C              C 
A strange balloon man has too much fun 
                Bb        F 
Thumbs up for Slurpees 
              Fm                C 
If you're receiving then you're not gay 
            Bb 
A case of herpes 
   F                  G          C 
As it turns out the eyepatch is A-OK 

Outro: 
C C F C F Dm C